Short People

I figured that since I've been neglecting my project for about a week, I ought to go over to Eharmony and check out my new matches.

They're all short. 5'6", 5'7", 5'8".

There's nothing wrong with short guys. But come on, I'm nearly 6 feet tall in my stockings, and a guy who's 5'6" is going to have his nose at about boob level. Nice for him, maybe, but for me? I dunno. I'd kind of like to have someone who can look deep into my eyes...without standing on a stepladder.

And yes, I know, dear reader, I'm being shallow. So I've come to a kind of a compromise here. If they're 5'6" or taller, I'll let them contact me. If they want to meet a woman who towers over them - they've got good self esteem, and I like that. So, short guys - step up to the plate.

Jeff and Willie have stalled out. I don't know what's going on with either of them, but the ball's in their respective courts. Perhaps it was something I said in my answers to their questions that has given them pause. Who knows?

In the meantime, there's Carl. He contacted me, and I've responded, even though I think he looks like a small-time thug who has escaped from the set of "The Sopranos." I don't think Carl and I are going to work out. I asked him my three wishes question, and his answer raised a flag. He first wished for Haiti to be "fixed" - and that's a good thing, but then he wished for "a good president." Uh-oh. Have we got an Obama-hater here? I hope not.

I'm going to find out though, because he asked me the same three wishes question. Here's what I said: I told him that I liked his wish for Haiti, and that I'd second it. Then I said that I was happy with our current president, so instead, I'd wish that Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rice be tried for war crimes. (For my third wish, I went for the classic: world peace.)

If he's a Republican, that answer will ...smoke him out of his cave, won't it?

I wasn't too sure about Carl anyway - even before the "good president" wish; one of his MH's is he wants someone who is "very conventional sexually." Now that's just weird. What on earth does that mean? That he always gets to be on top? That the missionary position rules? No soapy sloppy sex in the shower? No naughty spanking? No romps with feathers and chocolate syrup? No cunni...well, um, yes, let's just leave it at that. Conventional man-on-top-woman-on-bottom-missionary-position sex is dreary and boring, isn't it?

I believe that if you only want to have "conventional sex" it means, simply, that you have no imagination or creativity or sense of fun. It means that you fall into a routine of every Tuesday is meatloaf and sex night. Ketchup on your meatloaf, two kisses, 16 thrusts and done.

No-freaking-thanks.

And yes, reader, I am extrapolating a whole lot from just that one thing. But hey, I was right about Tom, wasn't I?

Love,

Maggie