I've Been Dumped - Already!!

Well, damn.

It had to happen, didn't it? Being dumped.

Tom - he of the gray hair and slight paunch and possible messy divorce - decided that I'm too fat for him. Evidently, he thinks that he's going to find himself a hot babe. Well, good luck with that, Tom. He sent me an email telling me that I have a "pleasant face" but he's all into fitness and his sex drive is tied up with weight, etc. etc. (Heh - that's simply a variation of the old "But you have such a pretty face..." canard.)

My answer? (Besides a resounding "BULLSHIT!!"...?)

Let he who is without a single extra pound cast the first stone.

Yeah, snarky, I know, but shit - he ain't no Harrison Ford. He's more like George Wendt (the guy from "Cheers").

This is the part about dating that always pisses me off. Middle-aged guys with gray hair and potbellies telling me that I'm too fat.

Well, hell, he's probably losing his hair as well. Snarkity-snark-snark.

I'm trying to be fair here. And I do understand that a whole lot of men think with their ...um, well, you know, right? And that tossing myself into the dating pool, I'm bound to run into the delusional George Wendt types who believe they rate a date with Angelina Jolie. Oh, man.

This is the sucky part of dating.

It sure didn't take long for the sucky part to happen to me, did it? This was why I had cold feet about this whole project - I knew damn good and well that it was going to push every button I have. Every weak spot, every vulnerability, every insecurity, every fear. I knew that going in.

I was going to cut Tom loose anyway. Remember that little question I asked him about his 3 wishes? One of his answers was to be finished with his divorce - and that should have been it right there, only I missed it. (Note to self: read answers more carefully.) I do not want to get involved with someone who's even remotely still married! Period. End of story. Someone in the midst of a divorce, no matter how cordial, is absolutely NOT ready for a new relationship, and I am not going to be somebody's rebound.

You know what I think? I think that Tom is judging me based on all his icky baggage, and I do not need that aggravation. Looking back, his Must Haves/Can't Stands are a lot clearer now; they felt kind of judgmental and even slightly hostile to me. All that business about my being industrious and clean! And who the hell doesn't like pets??

OK, I'm cooling off now. I was smokin' for a minute there, wasn't I?

Now that I'm a bit calmer, and I can think about this with a cooler and more analytical head, this match didn't feel right from the beginning. Several of his comments were worrisome to me, tiny little red flags, if you will - which proves that I have reasonably good instincts and that I should learn to trust them. Maybe I'm not as bad at this as I thought.

Oh, well. This one was getting tossed back anyway. I just didn't get to do it first. And...truth to tell, he won't be the last, either.

Buh-bye, Tom! Cross Frog #1 off the list.

Buckle up, kiddies - it's going to be a bumpy ride!!