Life, Interrupted

I lost my job on Friday.

To put it baldly, I got fired. I had been there for only six months, so perhaps it doesn't hurt as badly as getting fired from a long-term job for not cutting the mustard. And yes, that's what I was told, that I wasn't "performing up to expectations."

It sucks all the way 'round. No matter how you say it. It just plain sucks.

It's another form of rejection, isn't it? And rejection is always a hard pill to swallow. It brings up all the things about ourselves that we don't like, it turns the spotlight on our flaws, it creates doubt where there was self-confidence.

It inspires one hell of a pity party.

I've already applied for a couple of dozen jobs, and I have an interview on Monday with a temp agency. I've worked temp before, and it's better than no work at all. I'll do it again if I have to; anything to keep body and soul together.

If I had a husband or a wonderful significant other, this time wouldn't be so difficult. It's rough being alone when times are hard. I've got nobody but myself to give me the requisite pep talks, nobody but myself to encourage me to get out of bed in the morning and soldier on, but frankly, myself doesn't bloody feel like being all positive and encouraging. Me and myself have been eating chocolate for two days and crying a lot.

That brings me round to my search for love on Eharmony. I have one more payment of $100 due for my Eharmony membership, at the end of March. That's the same time my health benefits run out. I find myself regretting that $300 commitment right now, and not feeling at all like wading through the mountains of men they're throwing at me. I probably wouldn't be good company now anyway.

I don't know how long I'm going to be down in the dumps, reader. It has been a very rough year, and I'm feeling rather exhausted. Misfortune and hard times have been my boon companions since I got laid off last February, and I have yet to get my life back.

Encouraging comments are most welcome.

Love,

Maggie