Are Men Cheap?

Really? Are they cheap?

Why is it that all the men on Eharmony seem to be the guys who signed up for the free weekends?

It is beginning to annoy me, because I picked Eharmony precisely for the fact that they make you do this slow dance before you get launched into the wilds of "Open Communication." I suck at "Open Communication." I'm getting better, I'll grant you, but I still want to lead up to the big event slowly and gently.

Instead I'm getting a flood of communications from these men, like a ping-pong match - and the first chance they get, they put in a message like this:

i'monlyoneharmonyforthefreeweekend.emailmeatlonelyguyatyahoo.com!

What's up with that??

The free weekend thing means that they can't even see my picture. I don't know quite how to feel about this; but I do know that I'm finding myself to be somewhat annoyed at these cheapsters - and that reminded me about my rant of yesterday about cheapass things and how long they last.

I put up my $300 bucks to find the love of my life; why aren't these men willing to do the same?

So far, the three men I'm currently corresponding with, TR, Jeff and Willie (who as it turned out, couldn't respond to me since he signed up during Eharmony's last free weekend!!) have all besieged me with a version of that same email above, i.e., they aren't paying members and could I email them my picture asap?

This is exactly what happened with Tom, remember? He was a free weekend member who couldn't see my picture - and when he did, he told me I was too fat. (Not a good memory, reader!)

I'm going to have to think about this one.

In the meantime, a bit of an update...

TR (according to him, it either stands for Theodore Roosevelt or Tryannosaurus Rex) has turned out to be a little on the strange side (and reader, I think this may be an understatement). I have swapped a couple of emails with him, and he sent me this long, overblown four page document (advertisement?) complete with 46 pictures, extolling the virtues of his condo, which he decorated and is currently selling, for which he asked me for a critique (what am I, a proofreader??).

And then...he sent me a picture of a very skinny fellow in a tiny thong? bikini? penispouch? (what the heck do you call those things, anyway?) designed to look like a tuxedo - which he labeled "formalwear" -!! He says it is a picture of him in his younger days, and it bears no resemblence whatsoever to the round-faced, bearded and gray-haired man in his close-up shots.

This is just too weird. There is no way in hell - short of torture or someone standing over me with a gun to my head - that I would send ANYONE a picture of myself in my underwear. Ever.

I did critique TR's condo advertisement. He did ask, after all! And since I love watching HGTV, I'm up on all the latest 'must haves' for homebuyers - you know, the granite, the double vanity, the stainless steel appliances and the hardwood floors - none of which this condo has (and which I mentioned). I didn't like the black curtains; I suggested a lighter bronzy shade to compliment the tan walls and a lovely slubby silk or textured linen for the fabric... and...finally, I commented that four pages of adjective-packed verbiage seemed like a bit of a hard sell, so I suggested he pare it down to one page and let the pictures do the talking.

He hasn't answered back.

Perhaps that will suffice to send him screaming into the sunset. If not, I'll have to gently, but firmly, let him know that he's not the one for me.

Willie seemed like a nice fellow. But there was this long period of silence, in which I waited and waited for him to respond to my communication. His silence was finally broken -- by another free weekend. I'm supposed to wait around for him until the next free weekend comes along??

Jeff, as it turns out, is another free-weekender. He and I have a lot of the same creative interests, i.e., writing, acting, theatre, etc. He sent me that patented free weekender email, so I sent him a quick email with my picture attached. He hasn't responded, so perhaps I'm too fat for him as well.

I'm getting somewhat frustrated. It has been nearly two months, and I've had one rejection due to my weight, one nebbishy date and one genuine weirdo.

Lordy. What's a girl to do??

Love,

Maggie